Finding Your Strength: Ideas for New SOF Spouses Navigating Training Trips

If you’re new to the Special Operations Forces (SOF) community, the whirlwind of emotions and challenges that come with it can be overwhelming. One of the hardest adjustments is managing the reality that your spouse will often be away on training trips, where they are sometimes treated like heroes or even celebrities by the wealthy, influential, and famous. Meanwhile, you’re left at home juggling the demands of daily life—often feeling invisible, unappreciated, and overwhelmed. 

While it’s normal to feel frustrated or even resentful, this chapter in your life can also be an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and creating a fulfilling life for yourself. Here are some ideas to help you navigate this unique aspect of SOF life with grace and resilience. 

1. Reframe Your Perspective 

   1. It’s easy to feel like you’re being left behind while your spouse is out living an exciting, glamorous life. But remember: 

      1. Their Work is Hard: While the perks of admiration and luxurious settings might seem enviable, the physical and emotional toll of SOF training is significant. They are under constant pressure to perform, often in demanding and high-stakes environments. 

      2. Your Role is Equally Important: Holding the family together during their absence is a monumental task. It requires strength, resourcefulness, and patience—qualities that make you just as integral to the mission as they are. 

   2. By reframing their trips as part of the bigger picture of your family’s service and sacrifice, you can begin to shift from resentment to empowerment. 

2. Build Your Own Community 

   1. One of the most isolating aspects of SOF life is feeling like you’re navigating it alone. Combat this by surrounding yourself with people who understand your experiences: 

      1. Join SOF Spouse Groups: Many bases and communities have spouse networks where you can find support, friendship, and advice. 

      2. Attend Social Events: When possible, participate in unit-sponsored gatherings to build connections with other spouses. 

      3. Seek Online Communities: Forums and social media groups specifically for SOF spouses can be a lifeline, especially if you’re new to the community or living far from base. 

   2. Having a support system can make all the difference when your spouse is away. 

3. Focus on Your Own Goals 

   1. While your spouse is out pursuing their mission, this is your chance to focus on your own aspirations: 

      1. Pursue a Hobby or Passion: Whether it’s painting, gardening, yoga, or writing, find something that lights you up and gives you a sense of accomplishment. 

      2. Further Your Education: Consider taking classes or earning certifications that align with your interests or career goals. Programs like the MyCAA Scholarship can help cover the cost of eligible courses. 

      3. Start a Business or Side Hustle: Use this time to explore entrepreneurial ventures or freelance work that can grow into something meaningful and rewarding. 

   2. Investing in your personal growth can help you feel empowered and fulfilled, even during your spouse’s absences. 

4. Prioritize Self-Care 

   1. The stress of managing everything at home can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. Make self-care a priority by: 

      1. Practicing Mindfulness: Meditation, yoga, or even a few moments of deep breathing can help reduce stress and keep you grounded. 

      2. Maintaining Your Health: Exercise regularly, eat nourishing foods, and make time for restful sleep. 

      3. Scheduling “Me Time”: Whether it’s a spa day, a quiet evening with a book, or a solo hike, make time for activities that recharge you. 

   2. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself is essential. 

5. Create a Routine 

   1. When your spouse is away, it’s easy for life to feel chaotic or unstructured. Establishing a routine can provide stability and help the time pass more smoothly: 

      1. Plan Family Activities: If you have kids, create a calendar of fun activities to keep everyone engaged and distracted from missing their parent. 

      2. Set Weekly Goals: Write down small goals you want to accomplish each week, whether it’s organizing a closet, trying a new recipe, or completing a project. 

      3. Stick to Daily Rituals: Morning coffee, evening walks, or Sunday movie nights—simple rituals can bring comfort and consistency to your days. 

6. Communicate Openly with Your Spouse 

   1. While it might be tempting to keep your frustrations to yourself, honest communication is key to maintaining a strong relationship: 

      1. Share Your Feelings: Let your spouse know how you’re feeling without placing blame. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when you’re away and I’m managing everything alone.” 

      2. Set Expectations for Communication: Discuss how often and through which methods you’ll stay in touch during their trips. 

      3. Celebrate Wins Together: When your spouse returns, share the things you accomplished while they were away—it reinforces your partnership and mutual respect. 

7. Build Your Own Legacy 

   1. One of the challenges of SOF life is feeling like your identity is overshadowed by your spouse’s role. Combat this by focusing on what kind of legacy you want to create for yourself and your family: 

      1. Be the Foundation: Recognize the strength and stability you bring to your family’s life. 

      2. Lead by Example: Show your children that it’s possible to thrive even in challenging circumstances. 

      3. Pursue Your Dreams: Whether it’s a career, a creative project, or a community initiative, carve out a path that’s uniquely yours. 

The Role of Lotus River Wellness (LRW) 

At Lotus River Wellness, we understand the unique challenges faced by SOF spouses because we’ve lived them. That’s why we’ve created programs to help you reclaim your sense of self, build your resilience, and create a life that fulfills you—both when your spouse is home and when they’re away. 

Through yoga teacher training, wellness programs, and community support, LRW offers a sanctuary where you can reconnect with your dreams, find support, and grow into the person you were meant to be. 

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone 

Being a SOF spouse comes with incredible challenges, but it also offers an opportunity to discover your strength, resilience, and potential. While your spouse is out navigating their own journey, you have the power to do the same. 

Had more SOF spouses been equipped with the resources available at Lotus River Wellness, they might not feel so lost or invisible. Instead, they’d be empowered to hold their lives together with grace and build something extraordinary for themselves and their families. 

Explore our programs at Lotus River Wellness today and start building the life you deserve. Together, we’ll help you find balance, fulfillment, and strength—no matter where the SOF journey takes you.